


Sixteen Candles

by thewhistleisyourgod



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eddie and Bev are best friends fight me, Eddie hates his birthday, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Georgie is still alive and is a great source of humor for them, I Love Beverly Marsh, Light Angst, M/M, Mike goes to high school with them and is a great guy, Pennywise doesn't exist bc fuck him, Richie loves his small boyfriend to the max, Stanley Has Had Enough, They're like sixteen, Underage Drinking, also thot!stan but it's lowkey, bev/ben will be in the later chapters, hello this is a gc fic because i love them, i hope i didn't start thot!stan, mike is a dreamboat, richie is stupid, stan is A Mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-01-10 09:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12296343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhistleisyourgod/pseuds/thewhistleisyourgod
Summary: Pure boy: i am Pure Boy just sometimes i have homicidal tendencies





	1. October 21

**Author's Note:**

> Eddie: pure boy  
> Richie: beep bEep  
> Mike: farmboy  
> Ben: egg  
> Bill: b b b  
> Stanley: jew man  
> Beverly: bevvy
> 
> Im hopping on the bandwagon bc I love my babies and these types of fics YesSS

**Main Chat: 9:34 pm, friday night**

Pure boy: Did anyone do the stupid history homework i am f r e a k in g

Bbb: we had,,,,,history homework,,,,, it is FRIDAY

Egg: *picture attachment*

Pure boy : BEN I LOVE YU

Bevvy: yu

Jew man: yu

Pure boy: sometimes i think about becoming a murderer and when I think of my first victims both of you come to mind first

Farmboy: why is his name Pure Boy when his name should be literal devil ™

Pure boy: i am Pure Boy just sometimes i have homicidal tendencies

Egg: jfc

Beep bEep: wait what did we do in that class today I forget

Bbb: how do you forget all we did was talk about,,,,, um

Bbb: IT WAS CAPITALISM

Beep bEep: i forgot bc i was staring at my pure beautiful boy eds : ‘“ ))

Beep bEep: also, hypocrite

Pure boy: I’m Breaking Up With You

Bevvy: That was the most Extra thing I have ever heard you say and I was there throughout your Eighth-Grade-Richie-Pining Phase

Pure boy : BEv ShUt UP

Beep bEep: awwwwwwwww,,,,,,,, you pined over me,,,,,,,,, baby : “””””)

Jew man: Richie Don’t Even you spent TWO FUCKING YEARS talking about ‘eddie this’ and ‘eddie that’

Bbb: stan don’t act like he still doesn’t do that every time we’re trying to play some gotdamn video games

Beep bEep: Why,,,,am I being exposed like this,,,,,

Bbb: bc ur stupid

Beep bEep: This is Biphobic 

Bevvy: Everything is Biphobic to you

Farmboy: Stan

Farmboy: Unlock Your FucKing window

Farmboy: Shit this is Not the correct chat

Beep bEep: ,,,,,y'all fuckin

Pure boy: ffs just take him out of the chat 

_Jew Man has removed Beep bEep from the chat._

Bevvy: HAhahahhaujudhfiehfoe

Egg: Big Mood

**Richie Rich to Baby Boy <3: 9:53 pm, friday night**

Richie Rich: was i right tho

Richie Rich: r mike and stan fuckin

Baby Boy <3: Rich how the fuck am I supposed to know

Richie Rich: U r,,,,,lying

Baby Boy <3: No Proof Bicth  
  


**Eds to fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: 10:01 pm**

Eds: r mike and stan fuckin

Eds: Curiosity

fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: ok don't tell anyone but 

fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: apparently stan and mike have a thing going on but so do bill and stan 

Eds: whAt Whatdifghwuhdibhfe

fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: i KnOwodjhjbfhiffoqf

fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: *one picture attachment* Bill is so fuckin madfiehwwfbdjfdm I Do Not kNow How to respond

Eds: I'm Crying Actual Tears

Eds: We gotta fix this tho

**Main Chat: 10:07 pm**

Egg: ...............................

Bevvy: So

Pure Boy: Yes

Pure Boy: oh Fuck i forgot we took richie out 

Bbb: DOn't add him back

Pure Boy: But he's being annoying 

Pure Boy: Tell u what how bout if I add him back everybody just ignores him

Bevvy: Perfect

Farmboy: I like that idea

Bevvy: Wait

Bevvy: Wait 

Bbb: What

Egg: What

Farmboy: What

Pure boy: What

Jew Man: What

Bevvy: Ok first off,,, love the support and second,, what day is it 

_Pure boy has added Beep bEep to the chat._

Pure boy: Tis october 21st

Beep bEep: Spoopy

Bevvy: THAT MEANS EDDIES BIRTHDAY IS IN 9 DAYS

Pure boy: oh No

Pure boy: You know i hate birthdays

Beep bEep: holy Fuck my baby IS GROWING UP

Bbb: Am I a Bad Friend if I said I forgot ,.,,,,,,,

Pure boy: no

Beep bEep: Yes

Bevvy: So Who is throwing the party bc we all know eddie cant and wont

Beep bEep: I'll do it

Beep bEep: Anything for my baby : '''''''')

Pure boy: No no fuCKING parties

Bevvy: too late

**Baby Boy <3 to Richie Rich: 10: 14 pm**

Baby Boy <3: I Swear To God If you throw me a party you will Never kiss me again

Richie Rich: Im coming over so I can kiss u and prove u wrong

Baby Boy <3: No you are Not

Richie Rich: Too late your getting a party and i'm already at ur window so open up prettyboy :)

Baby Boy <3: God I ahte this

Baby Boy <3: *you're

**Billyboy to Stan the Man: 10:21 pm**

Billyboy: Answer my calls

Billyboy: Stan what the fuck

_read at: 10:24 pm_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. October 22nd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beep bEep: IT WAS ONE TIME CAN’t WE ALL JUST MOVE ON
> 
> Bbb: NO YOU ALMOST STABBED MY CAT

**Eddie to Stan the man!!: 9:03 am, saturday morning**

Eddie: I’m only saying this because I care about u and billy and mikey

Eddie: Stop being a thot and choose one

Stan the man!!: Don’t tell me what to do

**Main Chat: 9:24 am, saturday morning**

Beep bEep: Hey 

Beep bEep: Hey billyboy 

Bbb: what

Beep bEep: r u home bc i’m coming over

Bbb: oh god why

Beep bEep: bc I miss georgie with all my fuckin heart and I need to love and support him?

Beep bEep: and bc good ‘ol miss K almost caught me this morning and I was severly pushed out of a window and I Am Injured

Pure Boy: FUCK

Pure Boy: ArE YOU HURT

Beep bEep: So deeply hurt, that I cannot walk, somebody, anybody, please save me from this hell I call earth as I crawl slowly to my painful death,,,,,,,,,,,,

Pure Boy: Ok i do not care anymore

Bbb: No cursing around georgie when you come over last time my mom got real mad

Bevvy: GOD i love georgie i’m coming over

Egg: Honestly if I had to die for someone I think it would be Georgie 

Egg: Or Eddie

Egg: I think I would die for both them

Beep bEep: Big Mood benny

Bevvy: ^^

Farmboy: hello I am awake and I also would die for Georgie and Eddie

Beep bEep: *one picture attachment* BILL MADE HIM PANCAKES WHO LET THIS KID BE SO FUCKIN CUTE

Pure Boy: Actual Tears

Bevvy: FUCK I M COOMING OVER R

Egg: HES SO CUT EE

Pure Boy: Wait i want pancakes 

Farmboy: I’m coming over for pancakes 

Pure Boy: pick me up I want pancakes

Farmboy: I do not. own a car 

Pure Boy: Fuck I forgot

**Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass to Eds: 9:38 am**

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: did stan ever respond to ur message

Eds: *one picture attachment* 

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: Fuck,,,I think it’s time to bring in a professional

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: Me

**Beverly to Stannny: 9:44 am**

Beverly: Alright listen up 

Beverly: Either figure shit out by Eddie’s bday or I will

Stannny: How the fuck are you gonna figure this out for me

Beverly: I Will Tell Your Father

Stannny: You wouldn’t

Beverly: You have no idea what I would do for my fuckin friends 

Stannny: FIne I’ll figure it out just don’t tell my dad

Stannny: It is way too early to be threatened like this

**Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass to Eds: 9:47 am**

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: I did it

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: *one picture attachment*

Eds: HSiofhwdifdhwfh YOU THREATENED TO TELL HIS FUCKIN GFDAD

Eds: OHMYF DFBUJD

Fuckin molly ringwald: I did what u were too pussy to do

Eds: i mean,,,u right

**Stan the Man to Billyboy: 10:04 am**

Stan the Man: Alright

Stan the Man: Meet me at the cafe on main street at 12 

Billyboy: I’ll be there

**Main Chat: 10:45 am, saturday morning**

Beep bEep: LETS CARVE PUMPKINS

Pure Boy: Richie that is a bad idea

Jew man: very bad

Bevvy: like so bad

Beep bEep: why :’(

Farmboy: That involves knives

Farmboy: Richie and knives do not mix well

Beep bEep: IT WAS ONE TIME CAN’t WE ALL JUST MOVE ON

Bbb: NO YOU ALMOST STABBED MY CAT

Bevvy: dhewiofhoffdbjsjsbs

Bevvy: how is ur cat Bill

Bbb: HE’S NOT OK BEV HE WAS TRAUMaTIZED

Beep bEep: I SAID IWAS SORRY

Egg: STOP YELLINg

Pure Boy: YOU STOP YELLING 

Egg: OK

Farmboy: this gives me anxiety

Pure Boy: You know what gives me anxiety

Pure Boy: thinking about my boyfriend with knives and a pumpkin in his possession

Bbb: Richie stop giving ur boyfriend anxiety it’s not nice

Bevvy: Yes not nice

Beep bEep: Ok i’m sorry baby

Pure Boy: It’s only 10 am and i already need a nap

Egg: Big Mood

**Big Mike to Eddie: 10:55 am**

Big Mike: Is bev at ur house

Eddie: Yes y

Big Mike: Can I come over I need to Talk

Eddie: if u wanna come on down then come on down

**Richie Rich to Baby Boy <3: 11:03 am**

Richie Rich: r u mad at me 

Richie Rich: baby

Richie Rich: Eds

Richie Rich: bubs

Richie Rich: spaghetti

Richie Rich: Love of my Life

Richie Rich: Beautiful

Baby Boy <3: fuck u want richie

Richie Rich: r u mad at me 

Baby Boy <3: ??? no ???

Richie Rich: Ok good 

Richie Rich: Can I come over 

Baby Boy <3: Richie I already have two people here and my mom isn't home

Richie Rich: HWat 

Richie Rich: Who is at ur house

Baby Boy <3: mike and bev

Richie Rich: i'm coming over

Baby Boy <3: ??????

Richie Rich: SOmetimes i feel threatened by mikeys insanely good looks 

Baby Boy <3: ffs rich 

Baby Boy <3: Actually no

Richie Rich: what does that mean

Baby Boy <3: it means stop being weirdly jealous 

Richie Rich: IM NOT JEALOUS JUST THREATENED

_read at: 11:15 am_

**annoying to beaver: 11:16 am**

annoying: is eds mad at me

beaver: yes

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everybody is a slut for mike hanlon tbh
> 
> also I love georgie alot ok
> 
> this is honestly such a mess but idc


	3. October 22nd (afternoon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jew man: Sometimes I think about a life where sometimes richie just shuts the fuck up and I ,,,,i want it so bad

**Billyboy to Richie's boyfriend: 3:43 pm, saturday afternoon**

Billyboy: Did you call my boyfriend a thot 

Richie's boyfriend: Remind me

Richie's boyfriend: Which one is ur boyfriend again ? 

Billyboy: Fucker 

Billyboy: Fine Stan and I are a thing now

Billyboy: Did you call him a thot

Richie's boyfriend: when did that happen

Richie's boyfriend: and yes i did he deserved it

Billyboy: Why do u want to know,,,dicklick 

Richie's boyfrind: Jeez just wondering bc im happy for u guys 

Billyboy: thanks. Why are you mad at Richie hes being annoying

Richie's boyfriend: When is he not annoying tho

Billyboy: Don’t talk about my best friend like that

Richie's boyfriend: What the fuck do you have against me lol just tryna be friendly

_ Read at: 3:52 pm _

**Eds to fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: 3:54 pm**

Eds: *one picture attachment* 

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: Good 

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: what about mikey 

Eds: I really don’t wanna ask him that he Is Not A Fan Of Eddie Kaspbrak

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: i’ll talk to stan abt it 

**Main Chat: 4:02 pm**

Egg: jesus FUCKIN CHRIST

Egg: eddie if you do not talk to richie I Will Not Hesitate, Bitch

Farmboy: Finally, somebody said it 

Pure Boy: Richie stop being a fucking pissbaby and complaining to our friends about ur problems 

Pure Boy: I leave you on read ONce and you act like the world is ending 

Beep bEep: MY world is ENDING EDDIE i miss you baby plss

Pure Boy: We r not having this conversation in the group chat

Jew man: Sometimes I think about a life where sometimes richie just shuts the fuck up and I ,,,,i want it so bad

Egg: Big Mood

Farmboy: It’s been five minutes 

Farmboy: I think they’re actually talking about it privately 

Bevvvy: thank god 

Bevvy: also BEn You just broke our streak and I Am Very Disappointe d .

Egg: OH NO

Egg: IM SO RR Y

Bevvy: We Are Not Friends Anymore

Farmboy: smh you extra as hell 

Bevvy: :’’’’’( im hurt 

Bbb: Um Georgie just came in my room and said “The moon has eyes” Should i be concerned

Farmboy: Wtf 

Bevvy: Im gonna with yes on that one

Jew man: I love him but that is the weirdest shit i’ve ever heard

**Stan the Man to Billyboy and Mikey: 4:35 pm**

Stan: when are we gonna tell them 

Stan: Im pretty sure eddie and bev are gonna kill me

Billyboy: Fuck Eddie 

Mikey: After halloween 

Stan: Good idea

**Beaver to Annoying: 4:37 pm**

Beaver: are y’all good 

Annoying: yes, the love of my life is not mad anymore, we are the Happiest people ever and will someday get married because i cannot live a day without my beautiful boy, Eddie Kaspbrak

Beaver: That was Pure and Disgusting all at the same time

Beaver: Like I wanna puke hearts

Annoying: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this alternate universe in middle school it was bev&eddie and bill&stan&richie and then they combined friend groups in hs when they met ben and mike so,,,, eddie and bill r not gr8 friends sorry 
> 
> sorry this chapter isn't good its rlly just a filler but the next chapter will pick up on monday at school :)


	4. October 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beep bEep: do you ever like,,,have the sudden urge to do all the things you were told not to do as a child 
> 
> Beep bEep: like throw a toaster in the bath or touch a hot stove
> 
> Bevvy: Richie wtf we are in geometry class rn

**Main chat: 7:47 am, monday morning**

Beep bEep: I feel ,,,,like death

Bbb: I can relate

Egg: Im grabbing coffee on the way to school does anyone want anything?

Bevvy: ICED COFFEE I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER 

Bevvy: and black coffee for eds

Egg: I’ll get it to you guys before homeroom

Bbb: so Pure i love it

Bevvy: Also eddie got his phone taken away last night so I am his mode of communication for today

Beep bEep: HWYA

Farmboy: hdodhh what did he do this time

Bevvy: well i don’t know bc when i asked he just glared at me and said “richie” really dramatically so ,,,,

Bevvy: richie care to explain

Beep bEep: I have,,,, no ,,i dea, what ur asking me,,,,,, 

Jew man: Richie gave him a hickey in a very visible spot and his mom freaked the fuck out 

Jew man: I watched it all go down yesterday

Farmboy: dhjiodfhehkwhfowehfohddwobjf RICHIE

Bevvy: Imdgf LAugingd

Egg: oh mY GOD

Beep bEep: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i did no such thing

Bevvy: that is such a blatant lie that it hurts to read 

**10:16 am**

Beep bEep: do you ever like,,,have the sudden urge to do all the things you were told not to do as a child 

Beep bEep: like throw a toaster in the bath or touch a hot stove

Bevvy: Richie wtf we are in geometry class rn

Bbb: Damn Suicidal Much

Farmboy: Real Question why does my spanish teacher hate me

Egg: bc ur better at spanish than he is 

Bevvy: Either that or bc ur hotter than him 

Jew man: ,,,,i mean they aren’t wrong 

Beep bEep: that reminds me that I have to do my spanish homework before sixth period Thanks Mike

Farmboy: Anytime

**Rich to DENBROUGH: 10:18 am**

Rich: Bev told me that ur mad at eddie 

Rich: ???

DENBROUGH: I’m not mad at him he just annoys me sometimes and i Have no idea why 

DENBROUGH: like i feel bad bc he’s a good person most of the time 

Rich: Awwwwwww,,,is lil billyboy jealous :’’’’’’’)

DENBROUGH: I Will Hurt YOu

Rich: Seriously tho you should talk to him he thinks you’re mad at him for something and u know how he gets when he thinks someones mad at him

DENBROUGH: I’ll talk to him when he gets his phone back

Rich: Right on man

DENBROUGH: Don’t ever say that to me Ever Again

**Main Chat: 2:34 pm**

Bevvy: GUYS GUYDS

Bevvy: STAN AND I JUST WATCXHE RICHIE GET SUSPENDED

Jew man: its true he just fucindg. Punched a guy and then. He was dragged away

Farmboy: WhTUDHWB

Bbb: OH no WHAT DID HE DO NOw

Egg: OHMYDFO

Bevvy: I DON”T EVEN KNOW HWY HE PUNCHED HIM LIKE HE JUST TURNED AND SUCKER PUNCHED HIM STRAIGT INTHE NOSE OH MY GOD IM DYINGDIB

Bevvy: I GOTTA I GOTTA FIND EDDIE HShsd

Bbb: I juST TOLD HIM WE’RE OUTSIDE

Egg: I KEEP IMAGINING RICHIE PUNCHING SOMEONE AND IGDINGDPOHDV

Bevvy: dhigfoebmmdbf

**9:14 pm**

Pure Boy: Hello All I HAve returned

Egg: EDDIE

Jew man: pure boy is back

Farmboy: yess!!!! Eddie!!!!!!

Bbb: !!!!!!!!!

Bevvy: *one picture attachment* A True Pure Boy 

Farmboy: Who let Eddie be so pure like. Look at this picture oh my gof

Pure Boy: Love my fans <3 

Pure Boy: Anyways did anyone do the spanish homework

Bbb: fuck we had spanish homework

Egg: *one picture attachment* 

Bevvy: Everyday I Thank God For Ben 

Bbb: ^

Farmboy: ^^

Pure Boy: ^^^

Jew man: ^^^^

**Eds to fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: 9:23 pm**

Eds: I talked to richie earlier and he said he punched that guy bc he called u a slut and he wanted u to know 

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: awwww trashmouth cares <3 I’ll make sure to give him a good Firm Handshake next time I see him

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: Did you talk to bill about the whole,,,him being mad at you thing

Eds: Yeah he isn’t mad at me and he wants to become better friends since i’m dating his best friend 

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: that doesn’t mean I have to become better friends with richie right

Eds: no

Fuckin molly ringwald lookin ass: phew 

**Bennyben to eddie: 9:24 pm**

Bennyben: hey eds

Eddie: hey !!! ben!!!! How r u !!!!

Bennyben: Im good!!!! Can i talk to u abt something ??

Bennyben: involving bev

Eddie: yes spill 

Bennyben: ok so i might have THE SLIGHTEST crush on her

Eddie: “”””””Slightest”””””””””

Eddie: Honey both of u r pining so hard I think everybody in derry knows at this point

Bennyben: IS IT THAT OBVIOUS OH FUCK

Bennyben: wait wdym both of us

Bennyben: DOES BEV LIKE ME TOO

Eddie: I’m Sorry I’m Sworn To Secrecy but yes

Eddie: don’t tell bev that 

Bennyben: ok thanks eddie i’m gonna go scream into my pillow now have a good night 

Eddie: lmao love u ben 

**Main chat: 9:43 pm**

Bbb: guys,,,,,,,,look at Georgies new pajamas I Want To Cry

Bbb: *one picture attachment* 

Pure Boy: Oh my god What the Hell this is so cute 

Bevvy: This is actually a picture sent straight from god himself 

Jew man: Every Night I Pray To my Lord and Saviour, Georgie Denbrough 

Farmboy: STan ur jewish

Jew man: Shut ur whore mouth mike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love saying shut ur whore mouth and i can imagine stan saying it so,,,,here u go


	5. October 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farmboy: Bev that is quite possibly the most Extra yet Purest thing you’ve ever done 
> 
> Bevvy: I’m always a Slut For being Extra

**Main Chat: 7:32 am, tuesday morning**

Beep bEep: sup fuckers im back

Pure Boy: Oh No

Beep bEep: EDDIE BABY I MISS YOU 

Farmboy: Waddup rich

Bbb: how do u already have ur phone back its only been like,,,,not a long time

Beep bEep: My dear billyboy My Parents Do Not Give A Shit 

Bevvy: It’s too early for this

Bevvy: Eddie it’s cold open the door you dickfuck

Pure Boy: Shit sorry did not hear u 

Beep bEep: Eddie, Love of my Life, I miss u and i need to see u 

Pure Boy: You saw me yesterday like forty times 

Beep bEep: I’m being deprived,,,,, of my ,,,boyfriend,,,,,im dying

Pure Boy: No

Jew man: guys pl s helpme

Farmboy: What why

Bbb: What happened

Jew man: U know that creepy painting in my dad’s office right 

Beep bEep: Yeah that thing is Terrifying

Jew man: HE MOVED IT INT O MY LIVING ROOM

Jew man: *one picture attachment* 

Pure Boy: NOOOOO

Bbb: SHIT

Farmboy: Burn It

Bevvy: What the Actual Fuck that thing is straight outa of someones nightmare

Jew man: Im leaving this family and im never coming back goodbye everyone

Egg: The fact that i just woke up and had to look. at that makes me want to vomit 

Jew man: think about how i feel. I did vomit 

Bbb: OH NO STAN

Jew man: everything sucks

Beep bEep: STAN NOOO

Farmboy: stan :(

Jew man: im not going to school when my parents leave i Am BURNING It

**Mikey to Stan the Man and Billyboy: 10:32 am**

Mikey: After school im coming over stan 

Billyboy: Me too i wanna burn that thing

Stan the Man: Oh Thank GOd

**Richie Rich to BabyBoy <3: 1:32 pm**

Richie Rich: ur so pretty 

Richie Rich: God I love you

Richie Rich: i miss u

Richie Rich: come over when schools done

BabyBoy <3: ok but i’m in history rn so kindly stfu fuckface 

BabyBoy <3: love u

**Main Chat: 2:47 pm**

Bevvy: who wants to go to the movies ?? im bored as hell bc eddie ditched me

Pure Boy: Hey blame Richie 

Bbb: I would but i’m at stan’s :( sorry bev

Farmboy: ^

Bevvy: All of u suck 

Egg: I’ll go

Bevvy: YAyAY 

**Eds to fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: 2:53 pm**

Eds: Ur I’m-In-Love-With-Ben-Hanscom is showing

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: Someday I Will Kill You

Eds: i can’t wait

Eds: #benverly <3

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: this is harassment

Eds: Can we talk about how mike and bill r both at stans house

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: it’s probs Emotional Support

Eds: im Confusion

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: same tbh

**Main chat: 6:38 pm**

Beep bEep: see y’all dicklicks in school on thursday ;)

Jew man: I thought after like ten suspensions you get expelled why arent u expelled yet

Beep bEep: bc of my amazing charm and wit my dear friend 

Bevvy: Thanks for the new pic of Eddie being pure on ur snap story 

Bevvy: *one picture attachment* my album just keeps growing and growing

Jew man: 1293 pictures jfc bev

Bevvy: I’ve taken one everyday since eighth grade 

Beep bEep: I need you to send me. all of them 

Pure Boy: I did Not know that exists what the fuck 

Farmboy: Bev that is quite possibly the most Extra yet Purest thing you’ve ever done

Bevvy: I’m always a Slut For being Extra 

Bbb: aren’t u supposed to be seeing a movie rn

Bevvy: It ended a lil while ago

Egg: it was fucked up 

Bevvy: it was so fucked i don’t even wanna talk about it

**Annoying to Beaver: 7 pm**

Annoying: I need ur opinion on smthing for eds bday party

Beaver: What is it trashmouth

Annoying: chocolate or vanilla cake

Beaver: Chocolate

Annoying: smirnoff or ciroc

Beaver: why is that even a question 

Beaver: ciroc

Annoying: *one picture attachment* which one do u think he’d like better

Beaver: 1

Annoying: ur an angel

Beaver: ik

**Rich to DENBROUGH: 7:15 pm**

Rich: so did u stan and mike do it ??

DENBROUGH: excuse me

Rich: did u burn the fuckin painting 

DENBROUGH: oh

DENBROUGH: no that is Too Much but we did move it

Rich: damn

Rich: wait what did u think i meant 

_ Read at: 7:21 pm _

Rich: PUSSY

**Billyboy to Stan the Man and Mikey: 7:30 pm**

Billyboy: *one picture attachment* 

Stan the Man: jesus fuck

Mikey: HE'S BECOMING SELF-AWARE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok im dumb and eddies bday is on a sunday so lets just pretend they dont have school on the following monday :) thanks


	6. October 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure Boy: Guys there is this really hot girl in my biology class
> 
> Bevvy: Eddie you like dick

**Main Chat: 9:09 am, wednesday morning**

Pure Boy: Guys theres this really hot girl in my biology class

Bevvy: Eddie you like dick

Pure Boy: Well yeah of course but she’s like,,,,really hot

Pure Boy: I wouldn’t date her but I’m Admiring Her

Bbb: Is it that Sarah girl in our history class

Pure Boy: YES HER NAME IS SARAH

Beep bEep: eddie 

Pure Boy: GUYS I KNOW IM GAY BUT SHE S HOT

Jew man: ……..thats sketch eddie

Pure Boy: You know what I am never talking about hot girls ever again 

Pure Boy: Would u prefer I talk about hot guys 

Beep bEep: unless it’s me or mike,,,, No

**Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass to eds: 11:34 am**

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: It’s almost fall you know tht means we wil all be needing some

Eds: No

Eds: Not again

Eds: It’s almost november

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: hot

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: choclety milk

Eds: This is Harassment ???

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: MILK

**Main Chat: 11:38 am**

Pure Boy: BEV IS HARASSING ME WITH THE HOT CHOCLETY MEME AGAIN

Beep bEep: Hot Choclety 

Farmboy: MIlk

Pure Boy: Im gonna Cry

Beep bEep: Why are you doinhg this during lunch are u guys that Desparate without me

Jew man: No they’re just being fucking weird

Bevvy: *one picture attachment* hot choclety milk

Jew man: Exit

**3:23 pm**

Jew man: Eddie. Pls close ur. Blinds 

Jew man: Eddie NO

Farmboy: what is happening rn

Farmboy: Oh i forgot eddie and stan r neighbors

Jew man: unfortunately

Jew man: Richie GET OFF OF EDDIE AND CLOSE THE BLINDS PLASE IM BEING BLINDED

Bbb: plase

Bevvy: plase

Egg: plase

Beep bEep: Cockblock 

Jew man: I only wish for Sweet, Sweet death at this point

Egg: Big Mood 

_ Bbb changed jew man’s username to plase. _

Plase: Why

**7:43 pm**

Pure Boy: STAN 

Pure Boy: STAN IM SO SORYRY MY OPHONE WAS DEAD

Plase: I hate life

Farmboy: no u don’t 

Plase: shut ur whore mouth mike

_Bbb changed farmboy’s username to whore._

Whore: bill sometimes i worry about you 

Bevvy: Big Mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT I HAVE PSATS TOMORROW AND IM BEING CONFRONTED ON MY HOE AGENDA BY MY KINDA BOYFRIEND SO BARE W ITH ME IT WILL GET BETTER
> 
> u kno what time i t is,,,,,hot choclety mikl


	7. October 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Egg: Eddie that was pure i know why ur names Pure Boy now
> 
> Bevvy: Ben do not be fooled this morning he punched me in the tit
> 
> Pure Boy: U deserved it

**Annoying to Beaver: 7:45 am, thursday morning**

Annoying: TODAYD THE DAY YOUR BELOVED RETURNS TO SCHOOL

Annoying: This isn’t. Eddie 

Beaver: Ur stupid

Beaver: I showed it to eddie bc I can tell ur Desperate and he smiled 

Annoying: Beautiful

**Main Chat: 8:10 am**

Beep bEep: everyone,,,,,today is the day

Beep bEep: Im Returning

whore: the guy you punched has it out for you 

Bbb: OOHHH yeah that’s what i forgot to tell u lol

Beep bEep: Wow. I’m suddenly Sick

Pure Boy: Richie You are coming to school You little FUCK

Pure Boy: He keeps pushing around bill and stan and shit AND YOU NEED TO TAKE IT SO MY FRIENDS WHO DIDN’t DO ANYTHNG DON’t

Beep bEep: FINE I’LL COME TO SCHOOL BUT IF HE PUNCHES ME I AM GOING TO THROW MYSELF THROUGH A WALL

Egg: Eddie that was pure i know why ur names Pure Boy now

Bevvy: Ben do not be fooled this morning he punched me in the tit

Pure Boy: U deserved it 

Bevvy: That’s True but still 

Plase: it is too early for this goodbye 

**3:22 pm**

Pure Boy: um. That was a Day

Egg: Yeah………

Plase: So. The weather?

Bevvy: Yeah it was pretty rainy while you and mike and billyboy were making out in classroom during lunch while the rest of us ran around tryinhg to find u

Whore: Fuck

Beep bEep: I would just lik eto say that I was not involved in this bc i was getting threatened behind the gym 

Bbb: What r ur thoughts on hummus? 

Whore: I think it’s underrated like hummus is so good, especially with pita bread 

Plase: Yeah I like it with cucumbers

Bevvy: This COnversation is not over 

Plase: Yes it is. We’re talking about hummus now

**BabyBoy <3 to Richie Rich: 3:37 pm **

BabyBoy <3: Ok i said this morning that i didn’t care but I actually Do r u ok 

Richie Rich: Yes baby I am good

BabyBoy <3: No u r not i’m coming over 

**Main Chat: 4:05 pm**

Egg: So r u we all just gonna accept them and then never mention it again

Egg: Like eddie and richie ?

Bevvy: Yes I have already started 

Pure Boy: I love my friends Especially #ot3 

Pure Boy: I couldn’t think of a ship name and richie is no help so #ot3

Plase: Um Richie is great at ship names 

Pure Boy: Well he’s asleep so at the moment he’s not

Plase: Make s sense Well I love u all even though I only project pure hatred

Whore: Can someone change my username back I don’t wanna say something about how great u guys r when my name is Whore

_ Plase has changed Whore’s username to Stan’s Boyfriend. _

_Plase has changed b b b’s username to Also Stan’s Boyfriend._

_Bevvy has changed Plase’s username to Stan._

_ Bevvy has changed Pure Boy’s username to Tit-puncher. _

_ Stan’s Boyfriend has changed Tit-puncher’s username to Pure Boy. _

Stan’s Boyfriend: U can change my name but nobody touches Pure Boy his name is Too Good

Bevvy: True

Pure Boy: Hey 

_ Pure Boy has changed Beep bEep’s username to Benverly enthusiast. _

Pure boy: Now we wait

Bevvy: EDD EI

Bevvy: EVDIDD ENOOOO

Pure Boy: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHH

Egg: Lol what

_ Bevvy has changed Benverly enthusiast’s username to Eddie enthusiast _

Bevvy: haha eddie’s hand must’ve slipped :)

Pure Boy: You Are Lying To YOurself

**Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass to Eds: 4:15 pm**

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: I Hate you

Eds: <3 love u too

**Main chat: 5:57 pm**

Eddie enthusiast: #stikely

Eddie enthusiast: ur All welcome 

**DENBROUGH to Rich: 7:05 pm**

DENBROUGH: what r u getting eddie for his bday bc i wanna give him love and support but taht Will Not cut it

Rich: My gift is secrete

Rich: he likes books and sweaters tho get him a book

Rich: or a new coffee mug

Rich: and love and support Eddie is always a slut for love and support from his friends 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like eddie, i am also always a slut for love and support


	8. October 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie enthusiast: Sleep is for the Weak
> 
> Also Stan’s Boyfriend: calm down edgelord

**Main Chat: Friday morning, 2:03 am**

_ Eddie enthusiast has changed the chat name to Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club. _

**Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club: 7:30 am**

Stan: What the fuck Richie 

Stan’s Boyfriend: I like It

Bevvy: why were you awake at 2am

Eddie enthusiast: Sleep is for the Weak

Also Stan’s Boyfriend: calm down edgelord

Also Stan’s Boyfriend: Georgie said its gonna rain today so he just walked into my room,,,wearing this,, im gonna Cry

Also Stan’s Boyfriend: *one picture attachment* 

Egg: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING TO WAKE UP TO

Bevvy: I’ve been blessed

Pure Boy: FUCK HIS LIL GOLASHES IM CRYINGUIDBIGK

Stan’s Boyfriend: I’m saving this and it’s my new background 

Stan: I love Georgie with so mcuh holy sh it 

Stan: Wiat Mike Im your background

Stan’s Boyfriend: Well Georgie is my lockscreen u and bill r my background

Egg: So Pure

Eddie Enthusiast: *one picture attachment* look at my background eds do u love it i love it 

Pure Boy: WhT TEF FUCK RICHIE

Pure Boy: WH Y IS THAT YUR BACKGROUND 

Bevvy: I’ve seen Too Much

Pure Boy: WHEN DID YOU EVEN TAKE THAT 

Stan: eddie looks almost not scary and not homicidal when he’s sleeping 

Pure Boy: Richie delete. that picture 

Eddie enthusiast: NO

**2:45 pm**

Also Stan’s Boyfriend: it is finally the fucking weekend 

Pure Boy: This week was Wild

Bevvy: This weekend is gonna be Wild

Pure Boy: wydm 

Bevvy: U know bc of halloween of course

Bevvy: Three-day weekend!!

**Annoying to Beaver: 2:50 pm**

Annoying: I SWEAR TO GOD BEV

Beaver: HEHDIGDB I SAVED MYSELF OK HE DOESNT KNWO

Annoying: I will End You if eddie finds out about his party

Beaver: idk why ur even trying Eddie always knows he is always two steps ahead of us

**Eds to fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: 2:53 pm**

Eds: Ur being weird 

Fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: What ???? no im not

Eds: whatever u guys r planning I will. Find out and I will put an end to it

**Eddie’s “””surpise party”””: 3:00 pm**

Bev: *one picture attachment* 

Bill: Why does he always fucking know 

Bev: i bet one of u told him 

Stan: Hey don’t go blaming us u almost just flat out told him in the gc

Richie: I’m going to Hurt Someone if this is fucked up 

**Mike Stanlon Appreciation Club: 3:15 pm**

Pure Boy: Who wants to go see a movie tomorrow night ??? like a bad one bc i don’t wanna think tbh

Stan: Can’t sorry i have a date 

Stan Boyfriend: ^

Also Stan’s Boyfriend: ^^

Egg: I would but I can’t bc i have too much homework :( sorry bubs

Bevvy: I’ll go 

Pure Boy: alrighty

**Eddie’s “””surpise party”””: 3:30 pm**

Richie: BEV NO I NEED UR HELP 

Bev: ALL OF YOU CAN DO IT TOGETHER I HAVE TO GO SO HE ISN’t SUSPICIOUS 

Bev: plus i need to be a Good Friend he was upset today so he needs Bev Company ™ 

Mike: I think that’s a good idea like you bring him back to bill’s after 

Richie: I guess

**Eds to fuckin molly ringer lookin ass: 4:07 pm**

Eds: do u think richie is mad at me

Eds: Like he was acting weird today and I think i upset him when i told him to delete the picture 

**Beaver to Annoying: 4:10 pm**

Beaver: *one picture attachment* 

Beaver: FIX THIS

Annoying: OH NO

Annoying: Oh NO NOT MY INTENTION

**Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club: 4:15 pm**

Eddie Enthusiast: I’LL COME

Pure Boy: ok babe

**Eddie’s “””surpise party”””: 4:16 pm**

Stan: RICHIE YOU STUPID FUCK

Mike: NOOOOOOOOOO

Ben: OG MY GOD 

Bev: NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN IS AID FIX IT

Bill: WHY WHY GOD

Richie: HE THOUGHT IW AS MAD AT HIM I HAD NO CHOICE

Stan: YOU CANT GO TO TOMORROW GO TO HIS HOUSE TONIGHT AD THEN BE LIKE ,,,, COUGH COUGH IM SICK TOMorrow

Bev: hdihgbvqifbqf

Ben: This is easily the worst idea we’ve ever had 

Mike: Agreed 

Bev: Ive been telling you all for like a week Eddie fucking DESPiSES birthday parties 

Bev: Tomorrow he will be swinging at someone and it Will Not be me

Bill: We’ll just get him drunk and he won’t fight 

Stan: yeah he’s a happy drunk 

Bev: ,,,the last time eddie was drunk he tried to jump into the quarry 

Bev: During winter 

Mike: I remember that scariest night of my life

Richie: well this time we just don’t let him near the quarry 

Richie: or the window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be messy lol but i'll try my best ok it will get kind of edgy


	9. October 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan has changed Eddie Enthusiast’s username to Asshole

**Mike Stanlon Appreciation Club: Saturday Afternoon, 4:24 pm**

Pure Boy: I’m Worried

Stan’s Boyfriend: Why ?????

Bevvy: Waddup

Egg: did something happen???

Pure Boy: No one has talked in this group chat all day??? Where yall been

Egg: oh

Bevvy: i’ve been w my aunt but richie and i will be over soon to pick u up for the movie

Eddie enthusiast: what she said 

Pure Boy: I’m still suspicious but,,,,,ok

**Eddie’s “””surprise party”””: 7:49 pm**

Richie: OKAY WE JUST LEFT THE DINER IS EVERYTHING FUCKING READY YOU ASS FUCKS

Stan: Yes

Stan: AND DONT CALL US ASSFUCKS WE DID ALL THE WORK 

Richie: SORRY

**Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club: 8:23 pm**

Stan: Somebody please help me im in the kitchen and bev is drunk please shes crying over Bill’s traumatized cat

**Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club: 9:59 pm**

Also Stan’s Boyfriend: I LOVE EDDIE! WGATA GUY ! HES OS BEAITIFUL ??

Bevvy: guyuju m puking where id the beathroom

Egg: Bev just puked in Bill’s houseplant

Egg: I hate being sober right now you all are disgusting

Egg: Where is eddie

Eddie Enthusiast: YEh WHERE  ID EDDIE 

Eddie Enthusiast: ph no

Stan: You are easily the stupidest person i’ve ever met

Stan: What the fuck richie 

Stan’s Boyfriend: What HPPEN ?

Bevvy: where is mgy boyfrie edddie

_Pure Boy has left the chat_.

Stan: this was a bad idea

_ Stan has changed Eddie Enthusiast’s username to Asshole _

**Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club: Sunday Morning, 11:45 pm**

Asshole: ffcuk my head is killing me

Asshole: Why am i on Bill’s floor

Asshole: oh shit 

Asshole: OH SHIT

Asshole: FUc

Asshole: Where the fuck is eddie 

Egg: I think he went home with that guy on the football team

Egg: Kyle? I think

Asshole: what

Asshole: Excuse me

Bevvy: um you were still sober when you told him he was stupid for hating parties and he should’ve have more fun and he broke up with you 

Bevvy: I don’t even know why I agreed to do this I feel like such a bad friend Eddie hates birthdays and he hates parties and i shouldve acknowledged that 

Bevvy: Fuck you Richie 

Asshole: How the fuck was I supposed to know that he hated his birthday and parties??

Bevvy: Did he never fucking tell you 

Asshole: Tell me what

Asshole: Bev answer

Stan: Eddie’s dad died on his sixth birthday

Bevvy: he had a heart attack during his fucking party 

Asshole: what the fuck

Asshole: WHAT THE FUCK

Asshole: and none of you wanted to maybe mention that to me?

_ Read by all at: 12:01 pm  _

Stan: we thought you knew 

**Rich to BabyBoy <3: 12:10 pm**

Rich: baby

Rich: eddie

Rich: I’m sorry 

Rich: why didn’t you tell me

_ Read at: 12:37 pm _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all sorry this is short and angsty but it'll get better next chapter !! sorry i havent updated recently ive been real busy w my boyfriend and school n stuff <3 bye now


	10. October 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asshole has changed his username to Not Having a Good Time Right Now

Mike Hanlon Appreciation Club: Sunday Night, 7:38 pm

Asshole: I know I fucked up

Asshole: And i feel really fucking bad 

Asshole: but im also worried bc eddie’s not at his house and he wont answer the phone

Bevvy: he’s with me

Asshole: !!!!!! is he ok ????

Asshole: hello

Stan’s Boyriend: he’s ok. He just needs a little space right now, he’s gotta a lot of things on his mind and bev and i think it’s best if he just stays with us for right now.

Asshole: shit ok 

Asshole: tell him i love him

Asshole has changed his username to Not Having a Good Time Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all i'm back from my very long hiatus ! come get y'all food while i think of how to continue this.   
> ALSO IF U WANN A BE FRIENDS HIT MY LINE ;)


End file.
